Guided By Robert Pollard
Cash Rivers


Lineup: 
Robert Pollard


Cash Rivers
She Laughed I Left
(7")
2017

  Side A
1
A B C
2
Back on Cholesterol
3
Bring Your Nasty Ass Home
4
Buckets and Shots
5
Cocaine On My Way Home From Church
6
Diapers To Panties
7
Drinkin' With Abraham Lincoln
8
I Can't Blame the Rain
  Side B
1
I Had To Pay For My Own Birthday Party
2
My Good Friends From Brooklyn
3
My Next Beer Will Be In Heaven
4
On My Last Day of Freedom
5
Pack of Zig Zags
6
She's Too Old For Trick Or Treat
7
She Stole My Man Panties
8
Summertime Santa Clause
9
Wrong Way Road
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Cash Rivers
She Laughed I Left

2017
by Propellerless

Seventeen songs in under seven minutes by the legendary Cash Rivers.

On “She Laughed I Left”, Pollard as Cash Rivers, croons
Such songs as, “Cocaine on My Way Home From Church”,
“She’s Too Old For Trick or Treat”, “Pack of Zig Zags”
and “I Had to Pay for My Own Birthday Party”.

I have no idea of the circumstances of this 7” record, ep, single or whatever it is,
Sounds like it was recorded at a party, with people, perhaps GBV band members,
Making up song titles for a drunken Bob to write short country songs using the titles.

My favorite is “Diapers to Panties.”
“She went from Diapers to Panties,
Back to Diapers, back to Panties,
She in Diapers, I’m in Panties again.”
With Bob singing in an Elvis croon.

Or how about,
“Drinking With Abraham Lincoln”
“Gave up thinking and took up Drinkin’
Now I’m Drinking With Abraham Lincoln”

Or
“Bring Your Nasty Ass Home”
“You’re dirty I love you
You suck and you stink,
But bring your Nasty Ass Home”.

If Country music was like this, I’d probably like it.

Pollard was originally planning on releasing his solo album,
“Honey Locust Honky Tonk” which was originally suppose to be
a mock country album, under the pseudonym, Cash Rivers.

A fun release from Yuk Yuk Records, lots of laughs.
Released through Rockathon and limited to 500 copies,
Which are sold out and not available on Ebay or Discogs,
But you can hear it on YouTube.

A fun release from Bob,
Thanks Bob!


Cash Rivers
Blue Balls Lincoln
(LP)
2018

  Side A
1
Bloody Mustard
2
70 Year Old Lady
3
Bobby Bare, Jr.
4
Blue Balls, Lincoln
5
Candy Cigarettes And Kiddy Cocktails
6
Circle Yes Or No
7
Come On Baby Grace
8
Crooked Balls
9
Didn't Diddy Give Ya
10
Excuse Me Baby
11
Gas Station Hero
12
Glad Girls
Side B
1
Goddamn Lookit My Phone Got Wet
2
Night Slaves
3
Rock Rock Rock
4
Spoonful Of Sugar
5
Squeeze Bottle Blues
6
Stab You In The Heart With Rock And Roll
7
The Monkey
8
Gettin' High On A Positive Note
9
Little Amplifiers
10
Man With Clogs
11
Nuttin' Without You
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Cash Rivers and The Sinners
Blue Balls Lincoln

2018
by Propellerless

Hot Damn!
Cash Rivers returns with a follow up album to his 2017 hit ep;
“She Laughed I Left”, with his band the Sinners,
featuring Harry Covair, Arlen Rhodes, Dudley Rogers and Ryan Stone,
all good ol’ Nashville players perhaps from the Grand Old Opry… yeah right.

Actually I know that the father of one of the musicians,
actually did play the Grand Old Opry, very recently,
but I digress…

Some GBV fans who appear to be country music fans,
stated that they would hope that the Cash Rivers records
would lead Bob to a future in country music.

Sure the songs on “Blue Balls Lincoln” have more of a musical
aspect to them than the last Cash Rivers release “She Laughed I Left”.

But it seems like the circumstances are the same,
someone threw out a song title and Bob made up a country song
on the spot, using the title.

Except on “Blue Balls Lincoln” it seems like some of the songs were
taken into the studio and had additional instruments dubbed in.

I seriously don’t believe Bob is in anyway serious
about a future in country music,
because he approaches it as a parody.

If perhaps Pollard, or Cash on his next album,
would record songs from the GBV songbook, in a country style,
performed them more seriously, with them clocking in at about 2 and a half minutes,
and released it on the GBV record label in more than a 500 copy run,
then I would say, he does take a future in country seriously,
but this album is obviously done in fun.

There is a version of the Guided By Voices nugget, “Glad Girls”,
which is done in an old country style,
makes me wonder how it would sound if Johnny Cash covered it.

Glen Campbell did a good cover of “Hold On Hope”,
and with his situation at the time it was quite poignant.
So it can be done.

But as far as the music on “Blue Balls Lincoln”,
it’s spot on country,
at least cool country,
Reminds me of the old trucker country music,
that was offensive and politically incorrect,
from decades past.

If country music had songs like,
“70 Year Old Lady”
“I met a 70 year old lady with a Killer Ass”
or
“Man With Clogs”
“I don’t trust a man with Clogs,
I’d rather trust a man with dogs”.
or
“Crooked Balls”
“She’s got me by the crooked balls, she knows it,
she’s got me by the crooked dick, she knows it”.

I might be a fan.

“Bloody Mustard” sounds a county version of “Anarchy In The U.K.”
with Pollard, in a cockney accent saying “Bloody Mustard”.

“Bobby Bare Jr” has his own theme song,
I guess in case he ever gets his own TV show.
“Bobby Bare had a child and he named him Bobby Bare Jr,
and he looked like a bear nobody cared, but he did”.

A lot of the songs sound like if they were more fleshed out
they would be pretty cool songs,
“Didn't Diddy Give Ya”, “Gas Station Hero” and
“Goddamn Lookit My Phone Got Wet” could be real country songs.

“Little Amplifiers”, almost sounds like something Bob may have already done.

The cover of Boston Spaceships “Come On Baby Grace”,
is performed like Elvis.

“Getting High On a Positive Note” is a rock and roll song,
with drums that sound like Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich.

Cash Rivers also covers the Sherman Brothers “A Spoonful of Sugar”
from Mary Poppins, which sounds more like the Residents than
country music.

Lots of picking, grinning and laughing.
Sounds like they had as much fun recording it,
as we do listening to it.

Limited to 500 copies on clear blue vinyl.
Love that clear vinyl!


Cash Rivers
Do Not Try To Adjust Your Set,
I Am The Vertical And The Horizontal
(CD/2 LP)
2018

  Disk 1 Side 1
1
Intro
2
Children of the Popcorn
3
Cheap Truck
4
My Jagwire
5
We Gotta Go
6
Bug Race
7
Object on Motion
8
I Wouldn’t
9
Slide On Sloopy
10
Take Her Home, Tuck Her In and Go Back Out
11
Bubble Country TV Spot
12
Soda Pop
13
She's Too Big to Be My Baby
14
She Discoed Out the Door
15
Go Get 'em David
16
Barber Shop Quintet Contest Champions of Minneapolis
17
Rock and Roll Keeps You Alive
18
My Heart's Still Beating
  Disk 1 Side 2
1
He Lives Upstairs
2
Orchestrated Horseshit Radio Spot
3
Bobby Bare
4
Future of Rock
5
Crispy Old Crackhead
6
Robot Arms
7
Cats Crevens
8
Buffalo Eleanor
9
There's No Such Thing as Global Warming
10
Lyin' MF
11
It's Only Rock and Roll
12
MB on GNR
13
O Brother You're Out There
14
Orchestrated Horseshit TV Spot
15
Honky Tony BeBop Lover
16
T V's Got a Lot of Things on His Mind
17
Don't Mock a Chihuahua
18
Blindsiding a Leprechaun
19
Bobby Bare Promo - No Prob Limo
  Disk 2 Side 1
1
Corn Country
2
What Goes Up
3
Warning
4
Tiny Cocka 2
5
Marathon Penis Go
6
Cellphone Baby
7
Kids by 8 Different Women
8
Voodoo Lady
9
Taco Tuesday Plug
10
Honolulu Titties
11
Crazy Evil Dancer
12
Winona on the Rider
13
Tiny Cocka 1
14
The Hair
15
Ready For a Sit Down
16
You Know She Thinks I'm Sexist
  Disk 2 Side 2
1
Sex Change Operation
2
Did You Hear Me Have to Say I Love You to a Man
3
You Know You Said Woah
4
Fifth Village Man
5
We Party Hard
6
Delicious Brown Acid - Country Essence
7
For Every Action
8
Party Pooper
9
The Backwash
10
Eddie Spaghetti
11
Shit All Over the Place
12
John Shut Up
13
Bubble Country 2
14
2 O'Clock in the Morning and I'm Still Rockin'
15
Newton's Laws of Motion
16
You Know We Get Happy When the Sun Goes Down

Cash Rivers and the Sinners -
Do Not Try To Adjust Your Set,
I Am The Horizontal and the Vertical
2018

by Propellerless

Paul McCartney met actor Dustin Hoffman in the early 70’s.
After having dinner, McCartney was playing around on guitar.

Hoffman didn’t believe Paul could write a song about anything,
so Hoffman pulled out a magazine which had a story about the death of
Pablo Picasso and his famous last words,
"Drink to me, drink to my health. You know I can't drink anymore.”

McCartney created a demo of the song and lyrics on the spot,
prompting Hoffman to exclaim to his wife: "…look, he's doing it… he's doing it!"

This seems to be the basic concept behind Robert Pollard’s Cash Rivers recordings;
either friends (or GBV band members) give Bob a title or phrase and he proceeds
to write a country song, perhaps on the spot.

Cash Rivers first ep “She Laughed I Left” included 17 songs with only
two of them over 30 seconds in length,
with Bob accompanied by an acoustic guitar.

For the album “Blue Balls Lincoln” Cash (Bob) is joined by The Sinners,
which my guess is the current lineup of Guided By Voices.
The concept is basically the same except the songs get the full band
treatment with most of the songs almost hitting the minute and a half mark,
with some even longer.

Included in the recent vinyl re-issue of Bob’s great second solo album,
“Waved Out”, was a letter from Bob written on a typewriter, (remember those?)
complete with typing errors,
where Bob announces new releases for the next year and a half or so.

Bob:
“First of all to round out 2018, the sprawling 69 track Cash Rivers and the Sinners
double album, “Do Not Try To Adjust Your Set, I Am The Vertical and The Horizontal.”
It’s a semi-tasteless very humorous retro 60’s/70’s radio/TV concept.”

One would think, the whole joke has gone its course.
Once again, You have to trust in Bob.
“Do Not Try To Adjust Your Set,
I Am The Horizontal and the Vertical” is Brilliant.

Bob goes on to say:
“If you go into it with an open mind, you might find it mildly entertaining
with a few pretty good songs.
Them Sinners can play.”

The album is more than just “Mildly Entertaining” and has more than just a
“few pretty good songs” and yes those Sinners can sure play.

Sure the concept is the same as is the lengths of the songs
and most of the songs get the full band treatment.
But the Big difference is this album plays like a radio show,
much like the Who’s 1967 classic “The Who Sell Out”.

But instead of commercials for “Boston Baked Beans,” “Charles Atlas”
and Acne Cream, the sponsors are “No Prob Limo,” “Country Essence,”
“Taco Tuesday” and something called “Bubble Country.”

But the thing that really makes this album great is the diversity of the music.
Which showcases just how talented the current line-up is.

The band plays a wide range of Country Music,
like Country Swing, “Bobby Bare” and “Ready For a Sit Down.”
Country/Western “She's Too Big to Be My Baby” and “Buffalo Eleanor.”

Country Rock “Cheap Truck” and “2 O'Clock in the Morning and I'm Still Rockin’.”
and authentic County with, “Take Her Home, Tuck Her In and Go Back Out,”
“Honky Tony BeBop Lover,” “9 Kids by 8 Different Women,” “O Brother You're Out There,”
“The Hair” and one of my favorites that sounds like 60’s country, “He Lives Upstairs.”

Among the surprises is a country version of the Rolling Stones classic,
“It's Only Rock and Roll (but I like it)” and one of the first songs Bob ever wrote,
which Bob and brother Jimmy referred to on the “Watch Me Jumpstart” documentary,
“Corn Country,” finally makes its debut.

But unlike previous Cash Rivers releases, the band plays a wide range of styles.
like Rock, “Cats Crevens”  which is sort like Rainbow’s “Man on the Silver Mountain”
and Ted Nugent’s “Cat Scratch Fever.”
And “Cellphone Baby” is that Moon Unit Zappa being sampled from “Valley Girl?”

Punk with, “There's No Such Thing as Global Warming” and “Shit All Over the Place.”
Post Punk, “Robot Arms,” “What Goes Up,” “Crazy Evil Dancer” and “You Know You Said Woah.”
Heavy Metal, “Go Get 'em David,” “Future of Rock” and “We Party Hard.”
New Wave, “My Heart's Still Beating,” “Voodoo Lady” and “Sex Change Operation”
and Glam with, “Children of the Popcorn” and “I Wouldn’t” which reminds me of
“Wig Wam Bam” by the Sweet.

The real surprises come with the most unlikely styles,
Pop, “Soda Pop” and “For Every Action,” Doo-Wop, “John Shut Up,”
Surf Music, “My Jagwire” and “Honolulu Titties.”

Even more surprising, Disco, “She Discoed Out the Door,”
Hip Hop, “Blindsiding a Leprechaun,”
Reggae, “T V's Got a Lot of Things on His Mind” and
“You Know We Get Happy When the Sun Goes Down.”

There is even Children’s Music with “Don't Mock a Chihuahua” and
Barber Shop, “Barber Shop Quintet Contest Champions of Minneapolis.”
some of the songs could even pass for Guided By Voices songs.

Booby Bare, Father of GBV guitarist Booby Bare Jr, makes two appearances,
once during the song named after him, he appears in the middle referencing
his 1963 hit single "500 Miles Away from Home" while the band plays a portion
of the song.
And second on a promo for “No Prob Limo” where he again mentions his hit song.

There is lots of spoken word, children’s voices, sound effects and even saxophone.
Musically this album is all over the place, which is part of its charm.

If you were to take “The Who Sells Out,” The Mothers of Inventions “We’re Only In It For The Money,”
GBV’s “Alien Lanes,” all different styles of music and lots of laughs,
you might end up with this.

Last Saturday after I received this album in the mail,
I checked Rockathon to see if it sold out, and it did.

But reading on from Bob’s letter of future releases,
those of you who missed ordering this amazing record will have a second chance.

Bob:
“It’s Cash’s last record and will be commemorated in 2019 with the “10 Month Anniversary”
deluxe double CD package of Cash’s entire oeuvre, including the “She Laughed, I Left” 7”,
“Blue Balls Lincoln” LP and lots of bonus Vertical/Horizontal outtakes.
Then it’s R.I.P. Cash and the Sinners.”

I’m sure as hell gonna order it,
and I’d highly recommend you do the same.
This shouldn’t be missed by any fan of Bob and Guided By Voices.

A Freakin’ Plus
Very Fun and Entertaining!
Brilliant!